Five Delinquents and a Baby
by lifeofla-silverwolf
Summary: The Brotherhood learn that nothing is impossible when an unexpected surprise is left at their doorstep. But the experience is not quite what they expected, and they find themselves learning more about each other and themselves...all while changing diapers
1. Can't ever be bored Even if we tried

Authors' notes:  
All right, so this is what happened.  
Life-of-L.A. and Silverwolf were talking, as usual, but instead of discussing and developing angst-filled plots as we generally do, out of some abnormal unbalance in nature, we had the strange notion that we wanted to do a humor fic. Well, not completely humor but something in the 'general' genre, with some angst, of course (with our works, we can never leave angst out), but humor and other stuff as well.  
And then the inevitable happened.  
Life-of-L.A. suggested a pet, after reading one too many Red Witch fics (Red Witch rocks), and Silverwolf just had to remember a certain movie she had watched semi-recently. The movie? Three Men and a Baby.  
Hell yeah.  
Though Silverwolf definitely does not consider the movie to be anywhere near her favorites, Silver and Life-of-L.A. both liked the idea of using it in our own little happy Brotherhood way, as sappy and cliché as it is.  
Thus was born the mini series that shall be known as Five Delinquents and a Baby.  
Muahahaha.

Don't worry, we'll still have plenty of angst. We promise.

Setting: Soon after "Joyride", before "On Angel's Wings"

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 1. Can't ever be bored. Even if we tried.**

"...And if any of you set one foot out of line, you little brats won't be walking anywhere anytime soon, understood!"

Todd stared at Lance as the brunette finished the tirade.  
"...Wow. That really was exactly like her."

"See Pietro? I was right, Lance is better at it," Fred turned to the white-haired teen sitting next to him.

"He is not! I'm better!" Pietro refuted. "Well, maybe he's **close** to being as good as I am. **Maybe**."

"It's like you are her, yo!" Todd hadn't been able to quite shake off the shock yet.

Lance smirked as he sat down on the couch once more. "I told you I could do better than Pietro."

"That was the best Mystique impression ever!" Todd broke out in laughter.

"Quickie, you owe me five dollars," Tabby grinned as she held out her hand.

"I do not; I'm better. And you've never even seen her, so you don't even get to deny it," Pietro crossed his arms, vaguely echoing the fashion of a child throwing a temper tantrum.

"Regardless of how this Mystic person's supposed to sound, Lance's show was way better than yours," Tabitha replied with a grin. "Oh just admit it Pietro, you lost, that's that."

"Yeah man, you ain't even close to Lance," Todd added in between laughs.

"It's not that big of a deal," Fred shrugged as he took another handful of popcorn and tossed the cooked kernels into his mouth, not really seeing any reason for denial.

Pietro frowned. But it only took him a second or two to cheer up, smirking once more. "Fine, fine," he remarked, fishing out a five-dollar bill and shoving it towards Tabitha.  
"But I'm only agreeing because I want to see it again!" he grinned, turning expectantly to Lance, but the oldest of the group merely shook his head.

"Oh no, there's no way I'm doing that again. Doing Mystique impressions gives me a headache."

"Aw, please? That was so funny, yo!'

"Yeah, Lancey, do it again!" Tabitha cheered, grinning.  
"What was it? 'And if you set one foot out of line, you're toast'?" she chuckled.

"Hey, it's not me saying that. She really said stuff like that," Lance shrugged.

"Yeah, she did," Fred nodded solemnly, taking some more popcorn.

"Just one more time?" Pietro flashed a hopeful grin.

Lance shook his head once more. "Don't you guys have anything better to do?"

"No," Pietro replied.

"Nope," Todd said.

"Nothing at all," Fred answered, mouth full.

"Not in the least," Tabitha shrugged.

"We are pathetic," Lance groaned, leaning back further in her seat on the couch.

"Don't be such a party pooper, Rocky," Tabitha said cheerfully.

"But he has a point. I mean, it is a Friday night and we're all stuck here, watching Lancey-boy do Mystique imitations," Pietro ruminated.

"Well, it's not like we have anywhere to go," Fred pointed out. "And we watched you and Todd to imitations too."

"Yeah, no parties to crash this weekend. Well except the one Matthews is having," Todd reminded.

"As if we'd ever want to go to one of his parties," Lance rolled his eyes.

"Exactly! Which is why we're all here," Tabitha summarized.

"Although we could go pay him a special visit..."

"Oh no," Lance cut in, shooting down Pietro's suggestion before it could even be fully stated.  
"We are not wreaking the jerk's house. Or the X-Geeks' place, or Kelly's."

"You're no fun," Pietro sulked.

"At least I'm sane," Lance replied with a grin.

"Haha," Voice full of sarcasm, Pietro sent a fake glare towards the rock tumbler's way.

"Aw, Freddy, did you finish the popcorn?" Todd held up the empty bowl.

"Uh, sorry. I guess I did," Fred rubbed the back of his neck apologetically.

"Nah, no big deal, man. I'll go make more."

Just Todd took the bowl and hopped to the kitchen, something quite unexpected happened.

* * *

The doorbell rang.

* * *

"What the hell? Who'd be coming around here?" Lance turned, looking towards the door.

"Maybe it's some X-Geeks," Fred suggested.

"Aha! I knew it! They're tired of just fighting at school, so they brought the fight here!" Pietro exclaimed.

"Cool it, Pietro. Besides, we fight with them off school grounds too," Tabitha stated.

"Well whoever it is, if it's a fight they want, it's a fight they're getting," Lance muttered as he got up, heading towards the door.

"Ooh, Lancey's all tough,"Tabitha chuckled.

"I think he's still ticked off about the X-Geeks rejecting him and all that," Fred mused, voice lowered to a slight whisper. Somewhat.

"Rejection is a hard pill to swallow,"Pietro nodded with mock graveness.

"Guys you do realize that I can **hear** all that!" Lance snapped, reaching for the doorknob, his other hand clenched into a fist. "And **I** left **them**- of my ownwill!"

"Sure Lance, keep telling yourself that," Pietro waved nonchalantly. "One day the truth will reach past your thick walls of denial, and the fact that the X-Geeks rejected you will get through."

"Shut up Pietro," Lance grumbled as he opened the door.

"What's going on, yo?" Todd asked as he hurried out of the kitchen, having overheard the noise and not wanting to miss anything.

"Just the usual, Toddy," Tabitha replied, motioning first to Pietro then to Lance. "Lance and Pietro arguing about Lancey getting rejected by the X-Geeks."

"So... nothing new," Todd reiterated.

"Yeah."

"And there's someone outside," Fred added.

"Oh... who'd be here?" Todd asked, a confused look settling across his features.

* * *

Murmuring about a certain annoying white-haired boy, Lance opened the door, ready for battle if such an occasion should arise. He saw nothing however; not a single person was to be seen. That is, until he heard a small sound.  
And looked down.  
To see...

"The hell?"

* * *

"I don't hear anything," Fred said, looking over towards Lance.

Tabitha shrugged her shoulders, getting up. "Hey Lance! What's going on?"

When they received no response, the four teens looked at each other for a moment before promptly heading over.

"What is it?" Pietro asked, peering outside, moving next to Lance.

"Hey, there ain't nothing or nobody here!" Todd exclaimed, squeezing between for a view.

A little more pushing and Tabitha managed to share the doorway. "So what's with the doorbell? Is it busted?"

Looking over Lance's shoulders, Fred shook his head. "I don't think so, I mean we hardly ever use it."

"Maybe that's why?" Todd suggested.

"Guys..."

The four stopped the discussion at Lance's stunned voice. Following his gaze downward, their eyes fell on the scene the oldest was staring at.

For the longest time, no one spoke. It was Pietro who broke the silence.

"...Is that a baby?"

* * *

**"...Is that a baby?"**

"Of course it is, genius. The question is, why the hell is it here?" Lance stated.

"Aw, it's cute!" Tabitha declared as she picked up the infant from its spot in the bassinet.

Fred stared at the two. "Why is there a baby on our doorstep?"

"Well thanks for paying attention to me, Fred," Lance murmured.

"Who knows, Freddy? Maybe it ain't got no parents."

"And leaving the kid with us is a brilliant idea," Lance rolled his eyes. "This has to be a mistake," he muttered as Pietro joined in on Tabby's glee for the baby's presence.

"Aw, look! The kid has blue eyes! Just like me!"

"Or maybe this is some kind of a joke," the eldest of the Brotherhood mused.

"Hey kid, look! I can eat flies, yo!"

"A very sick, twisted little joke," Lance groaned.

"I eat anything!" Fred proclaimed proudly. "Except bugs," he added after a second thought.

"Would you guys cut that out!" Lance shouted, turning to the four- uh, five.

There was silence for a second, until the baby burst into tears.

"Now look what you did, Lance!" Pietro said as he held the child closer. "There there, it's just Lance being stupid, it's all right."

"What should we name the baby?" Fred asked.

"Good question, yo," Todd pondered the question, the two immersing themselves in deep thought despite the still continued crying in the background.

"Guys are you insane! We can't keep it!" Lance snapped. "It's not ours!"

"Not it; **she**," Tabitha corrected.

"Whatever... how do you know?" Lance turned to the sole female of the group.

Tabitha shrugged. "She looks like a girl. And she's wearing a lot of pink, which for a baby is an almost sure sign of a girl. And of course we're insane. You just noticed that now?"

"Whatever," Lance sighed. "We can't keep it! Her," he corrected after a second. "She's not ours to keep!"

"Well whoever had her before left her here, didn't she?" Todd asked.

"Yeah, maybe she doesn't have a family anymore," Fred nodded.

"In which case she should go to a damn orphanage, not stay with us!" Lance exclaimed.

"Language Lance, language," Pietro scolded. "There is a baby present. We don't want you being a bad influence on her."

Lance sighed in exasperation. "Why am I the only sane one here?"

"Oh come on Lancey. Think about it. The kid was left here, in our own front porch, with no name, no nothing besides the clothes she has and the cradle. You really think someone wants her?" Tabitha remarked.

"Well I sure as hell don't!"

"Now that was just mean," Fred said.

Lance ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "Pietro, would you get that kid to stop crying!"

"I don't know how!" Pietro snapped. Which only made the baby cry louder. "Look what you made me do!"

With a groan, Lance turned. "Quiet! Stop crying! Stop! Shut up damn it!" 

"You can't talk to a baby that way," Tabitha reproached.

"What I can't do is think with all this crying!" Lance snapped.

"Maybe she's hungry?" Fred suggested.

"Good idea, Freddy! Let me check to see if there's anything to give her in the cradle." After a brief search, Todd came up with a bottle and some baby formula. "Um... What do we do with it?"

"We make the formula," Pietro stated.

"Yeah... how?"

"That's out of my area of expertise," Pietro shrugged.

Fred shrugged.

Tabitha shrugged.

"...Lance?" Todd turned to Lance, offering the items cautiously.

"Anything to shut the kid up. Give me that," Lance muttered as he took the things, and stalked off to the kitchen.

While Lance was busy preparing the formula, the rest of the Brotherhood set to planning.

"We have to keep her," Pietro stated.

"All agreed on that," Tabitha nodded. "We just have to convince Lance."

"So... how?"

* * *

"I can't believe I'm making afriggin' formula for a baby that just appeared out of nowhere," Lance murmured as he put the bottle in the microwave.  
"Actually, I can't believe that a baby just came out of nowhere. And those idiots want to keep the kid!" he rolled his eyes. "They can't even look after themselves!"

After the heating of the formula was complete, Lance took the bottle out and checked to see if it was too hot. Fortunately, for everyone around, since Lance's temper was running short- it wasn't.

"Oh Laaance."

"I don't want to know what's coming next," Lance sighed as he turned around to come face to face with the resident speedster.

"Lancey-boy, we have a deal for you."

"Do I want to hear this or should I just throw myself out the window now?" Lance remarked as he handed the formula to the white-haired teen.

"Oh it's not that bad Lancey," Tabitha replied nonchalantly.

"What is it," Lance sighed.

"We want to keep her," Fred stated.

"No."

"But you didn't hear everything yet," Todd said. Behind him the baby was now quiet, eating ravenously and focused on that task.

"I don't need to. No. We are not keeping the kid."

"Okay, let us keep the kid, and we'll forgive you forever and ever for betraying us and joining the X-Geeks," Pietro said.  
Unfortunately the plan backfired on the four, as that reminder only served to fuel Lance's anger and edge it into a burst of flaming fire.

"I already did everything you wanted me to do after that!" Lance shouted, fists clenching.  
The earth trembled a little, but Lance managed to gain control over his temper once more.  
"I did the damn laundry, I drove you everywhere, I did the cooking, I did the dishes... let go of it already!"

"Whoa, calm down Lance," Tabitha put her hands out in front of her.  
"All right that was a low blow. We're sorry. We know you already made up for that whole deal."

"Yet you're never going to let me live it down," Lance snapped.

Tabitha chose to ignore that particular statement. "Truth is..." she sighed, her voice taking a serious tone, though softer. "Look at the kid, Lance. She's like us."

"Nobody wants her either," Fred said quietly.

"And we all know how that feels, yo," Todd stated meekly.

"Come on, Lance. She doesn't have anywhere else to go, either," Pietro took a step closer, holding the baby up in front of Lance. "She needs someone. Namely, us."

Lance sighed, averting his eyes.  
"Guys, we can't take care of her. It's not healthy for a baby to be raised by teenagers, much less teenagers with no money, lack of heat and plumbing sometimes, not to mention whatever else we don't have. Plus we have no idea how to take care of a kid."

"Not true," Pietro stated, pulling the baby closer once more. "Remember who you're talking to, Lance."

Lance looked at the white-haired teen for a moment before shaking his head. "I haven't taken care of a baby before either."

"But you know stuff about this," Fred said.

"Only a little. Just from what I saw back when I was... well, you know."

"But that's why we need to keep her, Lance," Tabitha moved over and took the baby from Pietro's arms.  
"We've been there. We know what'll happen if we take her to the wrong orphanage, or the wrong people adopt her... or she's never adopted at all. We know all about that," Tabitha gave the baby a small smile, sad yet hopeful.  
"No one understands her like we do."

"We can't just leave her somewhere, Lance. Her own folks did that to her, and no one deserves that," Todd looked up at the older teen.

"We don't know how to take proper care of a baby," Lance sighed.

"We can learn," Pietro stated.

"We don't have enough money as it is."

"We can cut down on stuff," Fred assured.

"We can't take her in."

"We can do this, Lance. If the five of us made it, so can she," Tabitha smiled.

"We can't..." Lance's voice trembled, and though it would have been unnoticeable to anyone else, the four teens in the room could tell. Turning, he put his hands on the counter, leaning in slightly.  
He flinched at an unexpected touch, but recovered at realizing that it was only Todd who had touched his arm.

"Please?"

Lance sighed, turning back around. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath before opening them again.  
"Kid needs a name."

A look of pure joy spread across Todd's face, soon followed by the rest of the Brotherhood.

"I want to choose a name!"

"Let me pick!"

"I want to pick!"

"Let's name her after me!"

"Pietro, she's a girl!"

"So? We could feminize my name." 

"Tabby let me hold her, yo!"

"My turn too!' 

Lance sighed.

This was not going to be easy.

But... looking back to his friends, his family, and their newest addition... well, things seemed a little easier.

And worthwhile.

* * *

Authors' notes: suggestions on the name are welcomed.

* * *


	2. Can't be happening

* * *

Authors' notes: 

Thanks to all the reviewers!  
We never expected to get so many reviews. We were, to put it plainly, amazed.  
Thank you, all of you!  
You have no idea how happy reviews make us. Well, here, we'll give you an idea: Life-of-L.A. sends all-caps email to Silverwolf, announcing the review, EVEN if Silverwolf already found out and EVEN if Silverwolf first emailed her with the news. Life-of-L.A. proceeds to do random happy things, proclaiming her jubilation in wild celebration. That rhymed. Silverwolf, meanwhile, randomly walks to her living room, and laughs evilly, while her family proceeds to go on with their lives, unfazed due to Silverwolf's regular insanity.  
By now we're guessing you really didn't want to know that.

But onto our sincere apologies.

Sorry it took so long to update; we've been busy and have been using what little time we had to focus on our main stories, but we'll try not to neglect our other stories from now on. Promise!  
But in our defense (as meager as it is), fanfiction. net thought we double posted a story (they thought the prologue and main story were the same), and didn't let us upload anything until 12/9. Meh. That's life.

Much gratitude to everyone, through reviews here or otherwise, that has suggested names for the baby! We appreciate it greatly. It was exceptionally difficult to choose just one name, so much that we were trying to think of ways to use more names. We do have every name suggested in the story, as a more visual sign of our thankfulness for your attention.  
We hope you all like the name we decided on; again, it was a hard decision (so many choices!).

It seemsfanfiction. net'suploadingformat changes every time we update.

* * *

Seta Kaede: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Aw, but Seta, you already knew we were insane! Well, Silver insists she's beyond insanity, but that's just her being... her. Life-of-L.A. is well aware of and acknowledges her insanity. Hell yeah. UPDATE Safety! We command thee!

Jaguar: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Ah well, we'll be using a few clichés in this story, though we usually try to avoid stereotypical situations. We'd like to consider it a satirical merit. Ilori is a beautiful name! What language is it?

LadyEvils: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Great to know everyone's in character. The terror that is diaper changing shall be encountered in this chapter. Doesn't that knowledge just send chills down your spine? No? Ah well. Lucy is a marvelous name, thank you for the suggestion!

Riye Link/Reue: Thank you for reading and reviewing! You flatter us. Jacky and Rebecca, both wonderful choices. Silverwolf actually had a student (do kindergarteners count as students? Anyhow,) when she was a teacher's assistant in a kindergarten and her nickname was Jacky.

heartsyhawk: Thank you for reading and reviewing! It took eons, but the next chapter is finally here! We hope you like it.

Angel Reid: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Guess what- wait, actually don't guess. Just read. Go on. Read. Are you still on this? Why? Go read! (P.S. Love ya!)

marve: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Rachel is a rockin' name, thanks! And more thanks for the compliment.

Boots: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Wow, thanks. It's so nice to get compliments. Enjoy the update!

Ehkayay: Thank you for reading and reviewing! After reading your review, we just had to search for other Brotherhood fics with similar themes. And after some searching, we found three! Whoo! Baby Blues by CrazyAce; 4 Brothers and a Mutant by Matt Briddell, which even has a similar title to ours; and Parenthood by Light Derived from Darkness, which was uploaded only two days after our story! Were any of these the one you read? Just curious. Oh, they're all good stories, by the way, and Parenthood is still on-going. (And watch out for Lloyd, because it's in the story!)

fallen angel wiv horns: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Wow, long list of names! Thanks! All have been used in the story, and all were much welcomed. At last, an update. We hope you like the new chapter.

Jaina12: Thank you for reading and reviewing! School problem discussed in this chapter, though no one's really interested in that topic so there's really not much actual 'discussion'. Look out for your fabulous suggestions, because they're in the story! The X-Men won't be seen for a little bit, but we guarantee you Lancitty. Definitely and absolutely. Lancitty rocks.

c-wolf: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hm, perhaps you have read one of the three stories we found (see three reviews above)? But in any case, we're thrilled you like it! Here's the next chapter!

xbecbebex: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Becky! It's great to see your review! Thank you for your support and enjoy!

Red Witch: Thank you for reading and reviewing! RED WITCH! Wow. We're obsessive and we love your fanfics! 'Tis an honor. We salute thee.

Amelia Glitter: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Yeah, poor child. Well, at least she has the Brotherhood now! Though, if that's a good thing or not, we're not quite sure yet.

scarlet stripes: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Terra is a lovely name, thanks for the suggestion.

Lance Avalanche Alvers: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hey, awesome penname. And great suggestion, thanks!

Beer'n'chips: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Concise person of the update, we dub thee. Thanks.

Dru: Thank you for reading and reviewing! You get extra points for gushing. Go you. Rock on.

Maiden Genisis: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Wow caps. Thanks. And all magnificent names! We especially liked the Persephone/Sephy one, though we didn't use it. Thanks for all five names! Five!

lilwlfy: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Hope you remembered/found/rediscovered/'insert other synonyms here' your password. All spectacular names, thank you!

Idypebsaby: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Thanks. X-Men will eventually show up in this story, hold on! Karenda definitely has a few awards in the unique department, and it's such a pretty name too! Thanks for the suggestion!

Silent-Liquid: Thank you for reading and reviewing! Sorry it took so long for us to update, and thus, answer your questions. This fic is not a crossover. As to the child being a mutant, no plans as of now, but perhaps. And Lance has a personal agenda. _Muahahahaha_. Sorry. Evil laughter just goes well with the word 'agenda'. Hope you like the new chapter, and thanks for the names and long review!

Wow. This is probably the longest authors' note we have ever done before. Cool.

Let's have that happen again, eh? Reviews would be brilliant.

* * *

**Chapter 2. Can't be happening.**

This was not happening.

* * *

This could not be happening.

* * *

Not to him.

Not on a Friday night.

Not him.

* * *

"LANCE!"

Groaning, Lance rolled over, covering his head with his pillow, trying to drown out the wailing of the Brotherhood Boarding House's newest resident.

Lance had barely managed to fall asleep; which really didn't take that long either, considering the fact that they were all too tired to even stay awake to finish discussing the matter of the baby's name. Therefore, after everyone had finally calmed down, the Brotherhood had collectively (despite a little disagreement at first, consisting of sofa cushions being thrown across the room) decided to work the details out on the next day, in favor of long overdue and much delayed sleep.

Unfortunately, it seemed that slumber was not meant to be that night.

The baby, staying in Tabitha's room for now (because her room, having been Mystique's previous room, had the most space, and though they did have one extra room, they thought it a bad idea to leave the baby alone), was seemingly quite determined to keep the whole neighborhood awake, and had started crying.

Ceaselessly.

"LANCE!"

About two minutes had passed since, and by now the entire Brotherhood was up, and all with the exception of Lance had dashed/hopped/stumbled into Tabitha's room in futile attempts to calm the yet-to-be-named-baby.

**"LANCE**!"

His door slammed open, and Pietro entered, Todd right behind him. Lance took mental note (as he did every night and, coincidentally, every day) to get the lock on his door fixed. And put in an extra or two... or three...

"Come on Lance, we need you!"

Maybe four.

"Go away!" Lance mumbled, head under the pillow still.

"**Laaaance**!" Grabbing one end of Lance's pillow, Pietro tried to snatch it away, to no avail.

"Pietro, stop and make it shut up!"

"We can't!" Todd explained, hopping onto the bed. "Help!"

"Someone's gonna pay for this!" Lance growled as he threw the pillow down, getting up.

* * *

"Lance, diapers, now!" Tabitha demanded as soon as the eighteen year old passed the doorframe.

"What! You've got to be kiddi-"

"Lance!" Handing the crying baby to a weary and half-asleep Fred, Tabitha stalked over to Lance, her eyes bearing an uncanny resemblance to those of which Lance had often, when younger, had nightmares about. "**Diapers**. NOW."

Taking a step back from the very pissed offsole female teen of the house, Lance finally groaned and turned to Pietro and Todd, who had paused by the door, trying to do their best to block out the siren-like noise. "Pietro, Todd, stay with Fred. We'll be right back."

"What wait no you can't do that-"

"No! Do something, don't leave us-"

"Take me with you! Take-"

"It's three o'clock in the middle of the night, and I do **not** want to be awake!" Lance snapped, to which the three teens instantly shut up, no further explanation necessary.

Tabitha was already downstairs, and they faintly heard the sound of the jeep roaring to life as Lance rushed out the door to catch up to her.

As they vaguely heard the door slam close and the jeep drive off quickly, Todd looked first to Pietro and Fred, then to the screaming baby, before his gaze settled onto his friends once more.

"We're doomed yo."

* * *

"Why didn't we send Pietro out to do this!" Lance exclaimed as they drove into the parking lot of one of the farther stores from their home, due to the fact that it was the only one open 24/7. Well, except that one... damn life-time ban... in short, no other possibilities remained. "He would have finished getting the stuff and gotten back home while we started the jeep!"

"Because Pietro wouldn't know what to buy!" Tabitha replied, equally exasperated. Not to mention likewise not favoring the idea of being awake at the present hour, outside in Lance's jeep in the chilly night- especially since the heater was broken.

"And we do!"

"Better than they do!" The bomb wielder snapped, but then put a hand to her forehead, groaning. "Sorry Lancey, but you know I don't do well during the night," she apologized as they parked, opening the door.

"Yeah I know. None of us do," Lance sighed as he too got out. "Sorry I snapped too... you know me. Bad temper, no control, as Mystique liked to call me. Minus the curses and other insults," shoving his hands into his pockets, he nodded over to the store as he started towards it. "Come on, we'd better hurry. It was definitely not a good idea to leave Pietro, Fred and Todd alone with a crying baby."

"Better than us," Tabitha pointed out as she too headed over, walking next to him. "At least, right now."

"Definitely," Lance agreed with a nod.

* * *

"Do something, Pietro!" Fred nearly pleaded as he handed out the baby towards the speedster.

"Don't look at me! What am I supposed to do!" Pietro yelled, taking a step back and away.

"I don't know! Why're you asking me! I don't know this stuff! I've barely even ever held a baby before! I don't know stuff like this! Just do something man!"

"Make it stop!" Todd moaned, shielding his ears with his hands. "Pietro, do something yo! I can't take anymore of this! Do something! Anything!"

"Well I can't do anything until Lance and Tabby get back with the stuff we need!" Pietro groaned, but attempted to rock the baby nonetheless. "Oh come on, don't cry, I can't help you..."

* * *

"So much for selection," Lance murmured as he grabbed the only package of diapers available. Thankfully, it fit the age group of the baby, or so he guessed/hoped.

"I have more formula. We'll have to get the rest of the stuff tomorrow; we don't have the time right now. Let's go," Tabitha said as she handed him the above-mentioned item.

"Right," nodding, Lance headed to the register, shooting a look at the cashier, who they had to shake awake, and seemed stunned to see them. Not to mention at recognizing what they were purchasing. "Ring it up. Fast."

The cashier hurried to oblige at the death glares of the two teens.

* * *

"I can't do this!" unsuccessful, Pietro turned to Todd.

"What're you doing, don't give her to me, yo, no, what, wait, stop-"

"**We're back**!"

"THANK YOU!" Fred cried out.

The crash of the door closing and footsteps running up the stairs were heavenly choirs, and as Lance and Tabitha, somewhat out of breath after running from the jeep, entered, Pietro swerved around, nearly shoving the shrieking infant into the arms of Lance.

It was only after Tabitha tore out a diaper from the new package they had just bought and handed it to him, that it hit Lance.

"**I am not changing her**!"

"Come on Lance, you're the leader, you have to yo!"

Shaking his head almost viciously, sparing a second to glower at the amphibian-esque teen, Lance turned to Pietro.  
"Pietro, you do it!"

"No way! Fred!"

"Don't look at me! Tabby!"

"No! Lance, just do it!"

"**Oh fine**!** Anything to shut the kid up**!"

* * *

"Man, I'm glad that's finally over with."

"Not soon enough," Pietro moaned, still cradling his ears. "The pain..."

"You guys weren't the ones to change the diaper, so stop whining!" Lance groaned from the single-seat-couch.

"Which brings us to another point," Tabitha spoke, sitting up from the other sofa-chair. Next to her was the cradle, in which the baby was sleeping soundly, now that she was content. "We need to decide on turns for that. And all the other stuff. And since it doesn't seem like we'll be getting any sleep tonight... well, it's morning now, but whatever; let's decide."

"Oh man, do we have to," Todd moaned.

"We still need a name," Fred reminded, sitting on Todd's right as opposed to Pietro, who was on the other side. At that they all perked up a bit.

"Fine, let's get this over with," Pietro grumbled. "Diaper-duty first."

"Well I already went,"" Lance glanced around. "Since none of us are going to be volunteering anyhow, let's just have it as: me, Tabby, Pietro, Fred and Todd."

"Yeah; I'm last yo!"

"We'll all be going around anyhow," Tabitha remarked before Pietro could object, though the white-haired teen had already raised a hand halfway into the air.

"And we'll take turns staying home, two of us at a time," Lance went on. "Monday, Pietro and Todd can stay home; Tuesday Fred and Tabby; Wednesday me and Pietro; Thursday Todd and Fred; Friday me and Tabby."

"No objections," Pietro voiced, everyone in clear agreement as they nodded.

"Now names?" Fred asked, getting to the point everyone was waiting for.

"Yeah... any ideas?"  
Lance decided to rephrase his questions when a flood of suggestions flew at him.  
"Guys, I can't even understand what you're saying! One at a time."

"Val," Tabitha spoke.

"Pietra, Ariadne, Cassandra, Mysty, Lana..."

"Pietro, stop obsessing over your name. It's not healthy, man. My turn. Um... Lucy."

"Rachel yo! Or Lloyd. And really, is anything we do healthy?"

"Todd, she's a girl. Kitty's a nice name. Or Katherine."

"Lance, we are not naming her after your girlfriend. How about Ilori? Karenda?"

"Pietra, Monica, Phoebe, Rachel- wait, Todd said that one. Andrea, Victoria, Alexandrea, Tiffani, Roxy..."

"Pietro, stop taking so many turns, man! It sounds like you're ordering food. It's making me hungry. What about Lauren?"

"Oh me, me! I have a good one! Jacky! Or Rebecca."

"Terra might work. Or maybe Jaina. Cassiopeia even."

"Terra? I thought Pietro was the narcissist here, Lancey. Diana? Shayera? Hm...Amelia?"

"Pietra, Mimi, Lisa, Sarah, Angelica, Lucy, Jessica, Leah, Laura..."

"I said Lucy, Pietro! Cleo. Or Chloe."

"Viper! That's cool, right?"

"Todd, that makes it sound like she's Rogue's cousin or something. What about Ann? Stacy? Claire? Britany?"

"Hm, Melody? Emily? Leigh? Madison! Nah, too common. Persephone?"

"Too unique Tabby. Pietra! Hm, Abigail? Maeve?"

"Didn't that come up? Not Maeve, but Abigail? Or was it something else?"

"I don't think it did, Fred. Hey, Abigail- that's cool yo! Abigail! Abby! Abbers!"

"Not nicknames already! This naming thing is taking way too long."

"It's not that easy, Lance. Besides, it's not like any of us have done this before or anything. I like Artemis. Damn, I think I'm stuck in Greek mythology names."

"Wait, go back, I like Abigail!"

"Wow, Todd and Pietro are agreeing. On the first time. That's just weird. I kind of like Amelia."

"See! It's a good name for a baby! Abby! Abbers! Abbiota! Abberooni! Abby!"

"Todd, overkill. I think you're shooting down the whole nickname theme. I like Amelia too."  
As Lance declared his side, the four boys turned to Tabitha, looking at her expectantly. She shrugged.  
"Well, I suggested it, so I'm going with Amelia. Plus I think Todd would be coming up with way too many nicknames on Abigail if we did name her that."

Cocking an eyebrow at the boy, Pietro nodded. "Tabby's got a point. Although I do like Abbers," he admitted.

"Hey! What's so bad about having a lotta nicknames? I get tired of just Toad, yo."

"It'll confuse her," Fred intercepted. "It confuses me."

"All right," Lance cut in before anyone else could say anything. "By majority, we're decided. Sorry Todd, but it's been more than an hour since we started, and the kid needs a name," he shrugged apologetically at the youngest brother before glancing at the baby.

"Her name is Amelia."

* * *


End file.
